I feel like I'm in the wrong profession. I understand that when someone is just starting to work and all that, he/she will have doubts from time to time, but I have it daily. That can't be normal. I've had this talk with a lot of my friends, teachers and non-teachers, and they all keep telling me the same thing - it's your first year by yourself, you're not terrible, you'll get better, you can't expect to be really good right from the start, etc. That all makes sense, I understand that. It's just that I have this image of what a teacher should be like in my mind, and I'm nowhere close to being that. A teacher should be a role model, someone the students look up to and go to for advice and a shoulder to lean on. A teacher should be nurturing, encouraging, understanding, loving to the students, no matter how the students acts during class. A teacher should never give up on a kid, even the hopeless butt heads that don't listen to a single thing that she says. In fact, a good teacher would try even harder to get the kid to understand, and get behind the real problem for the bad behavior and bad grades. I have teacher friends that say, "Well, we don't get paid enough to take that kinda crap, so just write them up." I think that's a really terrible mentality to have as a teacher. Shouldn't we do all that we can before we resort to reporting them to the higher ups? Is it a sign of weakness to not write them up? If it is, I probably seem extremely weak to my students. I really try to talk to the student and understand why they're behaving that way. But most of the time, it just doesn't work out. And it's obviously all my fault. I just don't have it in me to be a good teacher, I guess.

I just noticed...I like making lists.

*Things I like less than lima beans*

1. Allergy season. The freakin' pollen count was over 5,200 today. See, I didn't think that was that bad until one day, the weatherman said that 900 is extremely high. That's exactly what they called today's pollen count - "extremely high." I think they need to have another word to describe the over 5,000 pollen count. Calling 900 "extremely high" and 5,000 "extremely high" is misleading. They should say something like, "Today's pollen count is 5,267. That's stupid high. Don't go outside today. You will be attacked by tiny yellow things if you do."

2. Spring. The weather change means a couple things that can be good from time to time. For example, warmth. Flowers. Spring Break. I think it means more less attractive things, like allergies (see above), chilrens with Spring Fever (yes, it exists. If you don't believe in it, you should come to my school), warm weather = shorter, hoochie clothes on girls and I have to waste my time and energy to write them up, bugs, allergies, and did I mention allergies?

3. OATMEAL.