It's Halloween! This morning, we had a visitation at Lanier Middle School. Guess what. I had to conduct the FREAKIN' band. I was a little nervous about that. It went okay though, I guess. AFter that, we had to run downtown for basic improv. We had a class with Dr. Vernick. Everyone got a chance to solo in this song called "Yellow Sunflower" (or at least that's what I think it's called). Dr. Vernick was impressed with my solo. He said that he liked my solo the best, and he asked what my name is and stuff. That made me feel pretty damn good :)

Anyways, Dr. Schechter ROCKED tonight! Her recital was GREAT. She was awesome.

Halloween is tomorrow. I'm going to be a vampire. At least that's what I'm gonna try to be. I like dressing up as something I'm not. It's fun. I wish Halloween was more than once a year.

Andrew and I had our two year anniversary the other day. It was nice, except I had to spend half the day with my dad at the Dekalb County Courthouse. We had to be there for the citations he got for that accident a couple weeks ago. How are they going to give someone tickets for "driving too fast for the rain" and "failure to maintain in one lane" when they fucking hydroplaned?? Damnit, they've been through enough already. They don't need to go through this. Speaking of which, my parents are getting a new car. I hate this. I don't want to go through this again. I don't understand my parents' reasoning for their actions AT ALL. They make no sense! ARRRRGHHH....I hate my life.

I'm listening to Mendelssohn Octet right now. It's on the radio. Man...I LOVE THIS PIECE! How can anyone think up something that sounds so amazing? I'll never be able to understand how composers work.

Anyways, lots been going on in the past couple weeks. I'm glad some of the things are out of the way, and I'm really hoping that some of the pressure and stress will be gone. Although, I feel my period coming...that's never a good thing. What really sucks is that Andrew and my 2 year anniversary is coming up, and I'm gonna have my period during it. This always happens. Maybe we should just change the date or something...

Ever wonder why certain people in your life can make you do and think things that you'd never think of doing or thinking otherwise? Isn't it weird how some people have power over you like that? I honestly can't decide whether to stay away from those people or to hang around them all the time for inspiration or whatever. Sometimes people bring things to my attention that I'd never thought of before, and I get all caught up in the moment. That's bad, right? Nobody should have that much influence over me. It's like I'm a little puppet or something.

Anyone else going to the JLC concert in Athens on the 24th?
Email me, maybe we could carpool! jsong7@student.gsu.edu

The past couple days have been a little...weird. I'm going through this phase or something, and it's really starting to break me down. I can't figure out what to do with everything and everyone. It's frustrating. I hung out with Whitney last night to figure some stuff out, but we ended up talking about her grandmother for most of the time. It's okay though, she needed someone to talk to about her situation. She's so stuck...I feel really bad for her.

:: Bitch Hiku for You ::

Bitch face bitch slap bitch
Want to kick p'ions in the park?
Don't kick my face bitch

We have our second visit to Hull Middle School tomorrow. I'm kinda nervous. Last week wasn't that great, and I have a feeling that this week isn't gonna be all that great either, especially since Dr. Marshall's gonna be looking for a better lesson plan. This really makes me wonder if I should do this for a living. Can I handle it? Will I be able to do this if I'm by myself in a class of 40+ students who blank looks on their faces, not having a clue as to how to play the pieces of wood they're holding in their hands? I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could handle it. It's too hard. I'm not cut out to be a teacher...what am I doing as an ed major? What am I doing as a music major in general?? Damnit...I'm gonna have a freakin' nervous break down.

My parents got into an accident this morning. They hydroplaned into an 18-wheeler. My mom's a little bruised up, aside from that, no major injuries for either of them. There isn't anything wrong with my dad at all. Isn't that weird? They could've been killed. The car's a total wreck. Everything on the driver's side of the car was done in, but my dad, who was driving, is just fine. Not even a scratch. Someone up there is doing some serious watching over my parents.

Daniel oppa randomly showed up at church on Sunday. What the heck?? And why the hell didn't he tell me that he was gonna come up? Weirdo. He brought a friend with him. He wasn't all that great looking, especially next to oppa. Poor Eddie...must be hard being friends with someone that looks that good. I think Daniel oppa will always be the best looking Korean guy that I know...except that one guy on TV. Now THAT is good lookin'.

Speaking of Daniel oppa, another Daniel from Columbus paid a little visit today. Cello Daniel randomly showed up at the SOM for a lesson with Martha. Weirdo. Why didn't HE call me to tell me he was coming? We talked for a little bit. We were gonna hang out and he was talking like he wanted to hang out, but he went straight back to Columbus after we talked. He didn't even tell me that he wasn't going to stay. He was all like "I don't know if I'm gonna go back yet" and that was just five minutes before he got right back on the interstate going south. Oh well, it was nice to see him again though.

It's really funny how people are sometimes. They act like they want to know you and like you and all that stuff when you're looking at them face to face, but once you're not face to face anymore, the connection is gone. Why do we always lose each other? It's sad, really....that's why you can't trust people.

Have I ever mentioned how crazy my family is? And I don't mean funny crazy or cute crazy. I mean, we have some CRAZY ASS MUTHA FUCKING BITCHES UP IN THIS HOUSE. I'm not trying to be funny or cute either. I'm dead serious. We can't ever do anything together without getting into each other's faces about EVERYTHING. I'm so afraid that when I'm grown up and get married, my family is going to end up like the one I have right now. I don't want to have children like me and my sister, I don't want to be a mother like my mom...and it's sooo going to happen that way, too. Wow, what a GREAT way to scare away boys.

Sometimes people say things and other people take it the wrong way. I think I'm one of those people that take everything the wrong way, like I dwell on it too much and think too hard. I wish I'd stop doing that. That would probably stop all the potential drama from being so...potential. Staying away from people that cause drama or draw drama to them would help, too. I can't seem to do that very well...

I went bowling with my sister last night. We bowled six games yesterday. Gloria's best set was 145, her worst was 56. My best was 110 and my worst was 44. FORTYFUCKINGFOUR. Anyways, it was nice. Afterwards, we went to Taco Mac. We were gonna go to the one on Mountain Industrial, but it looked really scary, so we went to the one off of 141. We watched the Braves game. Man, remind me never to go to a sports bar with my sister to watch a Braves game ever again. She's so freakin' loud! First of all, there weren't very many people in there. Second, we were sitting in the middle of the restuarant. Third, she was screaming at the top of her lungs like somebody was dying, ESPECIALLY everytime Javy Lopez came up to bat. Damn, that girl is completely obsessed. Anyhow, the Braves lost. I'm kinda glad that the Cubs won. They appreciate it more, I think.

Sometimes we want things that we can't have. Doesn't that suck?

Bart, Andrew Kang and I had a gig today at Anthony's in Buckhead. That's where Jill got married a year ago. It was a nice ceremony...the bride is a Christian and the groom is Buddhist, so it was non-denominational supposedly. If it was truly non-denominational, i think their selection of music would've been quite different, and the service would've been different too. Oh well, it's their thing. Anyways, the wedding was outside, and it was thankfully a gorgeous day. It was sunny, cool, a little breezy, and from time to time, the leaves would fall and add a little bit of orange and yellow to the scene. It was all very pretty...until we got attacked by f*cking mosquitos. I got 4 bites on my left leg, 3 on my right, one on my left arm (I killed the bastard while it was still sucking blood), 1 on my hand and another one on my forehead. And Andrew swallowed one. If I had three wishes, I think one would seriously be to make all the mosquitos in the world disappear and never come back. What are they useful for? NOTHING.

After the wedding (we got $20 extra for playing 15 mins. longer), Andrew Kang and I went over to Eric's. Then we all went to Joe's. Andrew kept drooling over this one guy that works there. His name is Brandon. His head is too big for his body, but he really does have a cute face. We kept telling Andrew to go over there and talk to him, but he didn't. We asked another waiter for his name, and then that waiter went up to Brandon and they both came out and stared at us. Hmm...after that, we went to Jake's for ice cream, and ended up talking for a really long time. THEN we went to Eric's and played Uno Attack. That's a messed up game, but not as bad as Phase Ten. It was fun, I lost, blah, blah, blah.

Braves won the game tonight. They're playing the Cubs tomorrow at Turner Field for Game Five. Go Braves, go...so they can play the Yankees at the World Series and get their asses kicked (hahahaha).

Yesterday was the Wind Ensemble concert. It was nice. I kinda fell asleep (what Wind Ensemble concert have I not fallen asleep in?) during the Beethoven...and some other pieces....but anyways, it was overall pretty okay. I really liked the Concerto for Percussion and the last piece (I forget what it was called). After the concert, we went to El Azteca. I had a margarita. It was good. I had to go pee A LOT after the meal. It always seems to happen whenever I drink. But that's really weird b/c I think I went to pee more times than Matt, and Matt had 7 glasses of water. Hmm...do I have a bladder problem?

Sometimes things are really hard to let go, especially people. Wouldn't it be great if we could just not care about someone over night? Eh...c'est la vie (ya like that, vicki? I hope I spelled it right).

Right now, I'm sitting next to my baby in the computer lab, waiting for my next class to start. I don't want to go! But i have to...I skipped on Tuesday. Man, Tuesdays and Thursdays have become pretty pointless. I don't understand why I have to come to school on those days. I skip my EPSF class a lot, and Darien and I don't really rehearse for chamber, so I just end up driving downtown, sitting around for a couple hours, then leaving. Oh yeah, sometimes I practice. I should do that more often, shouldn't I?

We have a school visitation tomorrow morning at Hull Middle. We're supposed to be doing some sort of teaching thingie for two classes. It's gonna be too early to think.

It's really weird seeing all these people that I started college with graduate, get married, get real jobs...I don't feel like I'm supposed to be this old, ya know? I still feel like I'm in high school or something.

Darien and I just had a coaching with Mr. Najar. I asked him about the seating for this next concert, and he said that he's going to keep the first couple rows of first violins the same. DAMNIT!! I don't want to sit there anymore. I don't want to sit on the outside, I don't want to play the first violin part to Pines of Rome, I don't want to play the Beethoven...argh. WHY?!

*Ahem*...anyways, I talked to Victor a little bit this morning. I miss him :( I've just been feeling like there are a lot of people that I want to see and talk to and spend time with, but I can't. They're not here. They don't want to be here.

That makes me sad :(