There are things about me that I really, really hate. And you'd think that since I'm aware of these things, I'd fix them, but I don't. It's like I can't help it. I just hate myself afterwards, and this whole Asian pride thing gets in the way of me apoloizing. I've actually been trying to fix the apologizing part, but it really hasn't been working too well, because most of the time it involves my sister and parents. They don't do the whole "forgiving" thing too well. They just take the apology and "move on," but as soon as you do something that they don't like, they throw it in your face (it's more my sister and mother more than my dad...poor Dad). For that reason, the communication in this household doesn't really...well, exist. We never really talk to each other about serious stuff because the other person's always rolling their eyes, and they feel like the ony reason why that person's telling them anything is because they want pity and they want you to do something about their problems...or at least that's how I feel. And I really, really hate myself for feeling that way. I wish I could just have sympathy for them and be grateful that I can help out. Instead, I feel really...I dunno...I feel like they're taking something away from me, holding me back, and it sucks. I feel like I'm going to live the rest of my life taking care of my familiy, and I should feel good about the fact that I can, but at the same time, it's a huge burden, ya know? I wish I could be more thankful and look at the bright side of things, rather than get all stressed out and depressed. I feel completely self centered and selfish when I think this way...arrrgh.

On an unrelated note, St. Patrick's Day was yesterday. Ross, Tiff, John, Dorothy, Mike, Amanda, Andrew and I went to this bar called "Spotted Dog." It's a nice place. We just sat around, drinking over priced drinks, eating over priced food. At one point during the evening, Tiffany, Dorothy, Amanda, Ross and I all needed to go to the restroom. Here are a couple things that were observed on the way to and in the bathroom:

1. The bathroom was too far from the bar/restaurant. It was upstairs, around a corner, around another corner and down the hall. If someone got sick from drinking and neede to barf, they would not make it to the bathroom.
2. There was a man in the bathroom. I don't think he was gay, nor was he a transvestite.
3. There were girls in there who were showing off their crotches and asses.
4. They proceeded to ask people if they wanted to see their nipples (I think the guy who was in there wanted to see them).
5. Ross, while waiting for us in the hallway, was accosted by the same girl that was showing us her ass. But like a good Catholic boy, he refused the nipples.
6. I had a Jager bomb with John (no, not in the bathroom or on the way to the bathroom...after we got back. I just thought it would be a nice ending to the list.